Delusion

Do you ever feel like life is a delusion??  You see things the way YOU want them to be, but with a set of clear, open eyes things are much different than they one seemed??  Lately I seem to have fallen into that grand scheme of my delusional life.  Things and people I thought were there seem to be fading away.  Life happens and friendships and plans melt away like icicles.  In my reality my life seems perfect.  On the inside things are melting away.....figuratively speaking.  My life is an open book for many things, but somethings are too intimate to share with the entire world.  Just know that teenagers are so tough to raise......learning that one first hand as we speak.  The life you thought was around you is nothing but a shadow of the one that you truly wish to have.  Perfection is a myth, one that I would love to discover.  There are times that you sit in a crowded room surrounded by people and yet seem so alone.  To others you are the one that is all put together, from head to toe.  To you it's the way you HAVE to be, for you.  To cover your feelings of insecurity  from others, but mostly from yourself.  To put on that perfect face to cover your sorrow and fears.....  The people that you once surrounded yourself in are no longer at a fingers tip reach, a stone throw away........always a phone call away, but with busy hectic lives.  You are too busy convincing yourself that you don't need them, to see that now is when you need them the most.  There are friendships that have been lost, in the back of your mind that you truly miss........it was all in your palm of your hand at one time and now it's up in the air.  While others were able to move on you waited, listened to everyone else say why no to, when you should have listened to yourself why TO!!  Because you need someone!!  There will always be those tried and true people who will never go out of your life, those that would move heaven and earth to help you.  People who even though they aren't blood family are more so than other people you have known your entire life.  Life is really tough alone.......make sure you have someone to walk with you........